Friday, March 6, 2009

Does he love me or is he just using me?

How would you know if the person or even the people you meet each day, will never ever break the trust that you gave him/her/them? How will you know if that person or group of people is/are worthy of your trust? How will you give your full trust to a particular person or group of people?

In our story today here on love diaries, trust is being questioned. How would you know if the person you meet each day is not using you for whatever purpose it may serve? Could you trust him/her/them? How about in a relationship, can the one you loved trust you completely? How important is trust in a relationship or even in everyday life? Lets see our letter sender for today.

Dear Love Diaries,

I'm 30 years old and he's 23. Despite our age gap, you cannot tell the difference between us because our facial and physical characteristics are almost the same as if we are of the same age. But he is not my boyfriend. Miguel, a mestizo and a cutie person, is just an acquaintance that I met in a certain government office. But the acquaintanceship never stopped there. We became close, we are exchanging text messages and telling each other some sweet nothings. I thought we clicked right away the moment I met him. I felt there was spark.

One day, while Miguel was looking for a job, he texted me and we agreed to meet in a nearby mall. We ate, we chatted, we had fun just having a conversation on different topics. It did not matter really even if I paid our lunch, I understand — he was looking for a job and that he had no money. When I got back in our office, he texted me saying that he was going to fall in love with me. I must admit, I smiled when I read his text message. I also blushed when he said he misses me, I almost screamed at the top of my lungs.

When Miguel knew that I was a relative of the owner of the company that I am with during our lunch date, I offered him to apply in our office. He agreed to send his resume. But after a few days of continued exchanging of text messages, I learned from him that he already started training in an agency office.

Two weeks had already passed and I let my feelings for Miguel became so mad at him. I never heard any news since then. I cried. I cried a lot. When I am with my boyfriend of five long years, I became quiet. He never knew Miguel. Not even a hint. My boyfriend keeps on asking me what was wrong with me. He said I used to be the talkative one. But then suddenly, I am the quiet type.

I don't know why I became mad at Miguel. I'm mad at him maybe because I was holding on to what he said that he was about to fall in love with me. I don't understand my feelings towards him. Several days passed once more. Until one day he sent me a text message, "Hi, it's me, how are you? Why you never send me messages anymore? I miss you!"

My heart pounded as I my blood was going to burst. It was fast... as if I cannot breathe. He said he was sorry because he was so busy with his training. He immediately asked if the position was still available for him. I paused. I said yes and once again, I asked for his resume. Days had passed and still I have not received his resume... or even reply to my text messages.

I am getting crazy... my feelings towards him confuses me. I think I like him... or more... I think I love him. I already have fallen in love with him. Do you think he likes me? Or do you think he is just using me just to look for a job? Can you really fall in love with a guy you just have met? Please help me, love diaries.

Truly yours,

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  1. she's a cheater.. ha! she deserve that..

  2. @movie poster: hi there.. thanks for dropping by... i don't think she's a cheater... she is just confused with her feelings towards the guy... but then again, i respect your opinion... thanks again for writing your comments!

  3. see the girl have a boyfriend for 5 yrs.. thats it end of discussion... hahaha i'm sorry if i'm ranting here

  4. @movie poster: i completely understand... hahhaha!

  5. "...he texted me saying that he was going to fall in love with me."

    That's a clue. Is this the way one falls in love these days? Oh, I have a lovely time with you. Now, I'm going to fall in love with you. You treated me to dinner now I'm going to fall in love with you. You winked at me in a suggestive way, I'm intrigued. Now, I'm going to fall in love with you.

    Has love and its expression become so simplistic, so utilitarian, and so grossly worded these days?

    That Susan fell for this new guy speaks volume about the kind of relationship she has with her boyfriend. There's trouble brewing there - unacknowledged though it maybe for now.

    That's not such a wide age gap. Even a truly May-December affair can go the distance. But the key to that is honesty and sincerity. It doesn't hurt to cultivate a keen sense of spotting BS, Susan. If not that, use your intuition. Okay, your blinded by good looks. So close your eyes and listen to what your intuition tells you. Or what your BS radar tells you. Practice this to save yourself a lot of grief.

  6. @jan: thanks for your comment... falling in love with just a simple text message would really mean nothing at all... i agree with you on this statement!

  7. As if you have a choice. hahaha. kidding.

  8. ei..girl its just infatuation!!!!!I have to scold you but i guess bunch of your friends did it already....somehow i understand you..because based on your story written,,you are with a 5 yr old relationship with your bf...I think you've just found "kilig factor" lng to this mestizo guy..And I believe that 5 long years is too much or tiring,,when you are not yet married with him or even engaged. Maybe you should also examine your feeling and your goals in life. you want to be married with your bf or what? ei, you are not getting any younger po....hehehe

  9. I feel your pain. I think I have been in a similar situation before. For ladies words can be really leading, we hold on to them they 'sit' with out fantasies. You will be shocked the power of insinuations. I do agree with all the other responses; I feel he is really using you. Do let him go, take time out to analyze the pros and cons of your present relationship and simply make a decision about your future (you know... is this relationship going anywhere?)

    Warm regards

  10. @anonymous: thanks for your comment.. i really appreciate it... im sure susan is reading your comments... thanks again for dropping by!


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