Friday, August 29, 2008

It's Not You, It's Me!

Funny how us men find the above (title) phrase very reliable when it comes to breaking up with someone. All we have to do is just say the magic words, "It's not you, it's me" and everything is okay. An interesting definition of the phrase was mentioned in an article written by David Zinczenko, an editor-in-chief of Men's Health Magazine and a regular contributor to Yahoo's Health Page. According to him:
One-third of men admit that they're lying when they blame themselves for the demise of the relationship. Of course, they're trying to soften the blow a bit - to ensure that you know you're a great person, a caring person, a person who's perfectly right... for someone else. After all, if you were the right one (for him), it wouldn't matter whether his mind was somewhere in Iceland; he'd find a way to make it work. (Source)

But what if a woman made the first move to say these words? Does it make any difference to a man? Lets see what can happen.

Dear Love Diaries,

"It's not you, it's me..." Aaaahhh... the famous movie line that always got me into to trouble. When I want to dump a girlfriend, I always say to her that there's no problem in our relationship and she's (or them) is (are) not the problem at all. It's me. It's always me. And then after a couple of days, I have a new girlfriend that I probably met somewhere around the Metro. Of course we ended up chatting together, got hooked up, exchange numbers, two more dates and then a surprise goodbye. That's always the routine.

I consider myself an easy going guy, and yes, maybe the one that fears the big "C" — commitment. What can I do, I am just a man, and the girls are all over the place, waiting for me to grab them. It's a party of a lifetime and I must join them in their happenings. Life is short to hoard only one, right? and for a lifetime? Geeessh... Where in the world was that idea come from?

I remember my science class way back in high school where my teacher taught us about magnetism. You know, that very same force that attracts and repels objects, opposite attracts, same thing repels. It's me, I'm a woman magnet, I attract almost every woman that I like.

I think that problem was, I am too smart for the ladies or maybe they are just too dumb. Sometimes, I can have two girlfriends at the same time without getting caught.

One day, I realized, I'm getting tired of playing with girls. I finally decided to stick to one lady that will surely love me. Maybe after sometime, we settle down near San Francisco Bay, tour France, or perhaps cruise across Asia. Suddenly, I wanted to start anew. I want to start with a plain looking girl who is smart and attractive at the same time. And so, in order for me to do that, I took up a master's degree in Business Administration to wow a lady that I like.

To cut the story short, I met Florence. Corporate looking, smart, tall and sleek, and most especially, attractive. She's also the aggressive type, the one who will not quit into an argument as long as what she believes in are true. Yeah!

People say that Florence and I would looked together as a married couple. We have this chemistry, and there are actually some "sparks" in our relationship. I felt it. I knew this was true love.

And so I thought Mister Karma had left me ever since I become a good boy and started to stick to Florence. I was wrong. The moment I proposed to Florence one dinner at their house with her family, she said "NO" — in front of me and her family members.

She also said the exact words that I cannot forget for life: "It's not you, it's me. I'm not prepared to answer that. I'm just not yet ready to settle down. I'm sorry, Stan." Finally, she walked out of the dining table leaving her unfinished food behind.

Sigh. That's all I just wanted to do. Is there's something wrong with me? with Florence? Is it really me who has a problem? or it's just karma knocking me off? or perhaps there is another guy? Can you help me with this?

Truly yours,

Stan, that's life! And here's a song for you!

Im Yours (Live) - Jason Mraz

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